


When You Leave (I'm Lonely)

by HarperRose (Harper_Rose)



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Cherik - Freeform, Erik has issues he needs to work out on his own time, Erik is in love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Ignores everything after DOFP, M/M, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, alos kinda sad, like idiots, not Apocalypse compliant, slice of life-ish, they're so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 04:04:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10209236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harper_Rose/pseuds/HarperRose
Summary: He didn't know when it had started, where this mess had begun. Let alone who started it exactly. Sure he instigated it, it's what he does, he's an instigator. Always was, he couldn't help it. But he never expected for it to become routine, to become scheduled, something he could set his watch to.But like clockwork, Erik would carefully make his way across the Xavier grounds in Westchester every night at a quarter past one and silently slip into the old mansion.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This pillow talk  
> Don't wake me up  
> My dream is done  
> I'm still in love  
> I know your fears  
> Just lying here  
> I think I'll leave  
> Please don't my dear  
> This pillow talk will wake me up  
> No matter what I'm dreaming
> 
> (Pillow Talk by Wild Child)

Erik didn't know where it had started, when this mess had begun. Let alone which party was responsible. Erik instigated it, that was what he did; he was an instigator. Always was, he couldn't help it. He never expected, however, for it to become routine, to become scheduled, something he could set his watch to.

Like clockwork, Erik would carefully make his way across the Xavier grounds in Westchester every single night at a quarter past one and silently slip inside the old mansion's walls. He would stalk through the halls of the school, or up through Charles' bedroom window, as quietly as any one man could. He would practically levitate over the old wooden floors, knowing which stairs would cry out under his weight and should be avoided.

No one knew, no one had ever caught them. The children were all fast asleep by that time and Hank would be in the labs too far under ground or asleep in the opposite wing. No one had a single inclination that something was amiss, and why should they? Magneto was no more, he had vanished from the world a long time ago. Long before his face could become recognizable, he was good at flying under the radar. No one had heard a peep out of "the Brotherhood" since Trask and the catastrophe at the stadium. No one at Xavier's school had any reason to be suspicious.

So every morning Erik would be gone long before the sun ever rose. There was never anything more than a mark or two on Charles' pale flesh to indicate that he was ever there. 

It was tiresome; the coming and going. Erik knew it wasn't sustainable. he knew that Charles deserved better. Charles deserved more than this; more than what Erik could ever give him. Erik knew that he didn’t deserve any of this. Erik knew he would never deserve Charles Xavier.

He wondered where the line was. When would Charles put a stop to it, to everything? Somedays Erik wished he would end it, just to maybe save each of them a little heartache, to salvage just a little of themselves. And other times, the times when Erik could hold Charles’ solid warmth against his chest, keeping the both of them warm, he couldn’t imagine living any other way. He needed Charles far more than Charles needed him, he always had. He had needed Charles ever since day one.

He knew, if this were to end, it would be at Charles’ hands; that Charles would be just fine without him. He had the school and the children; people that cared for him. It would be Erik that would fall apart.

The early morning rendezvous were a fragile and delicate thing, only sustainable as long as the others in the mansion were willing to turn a blind eye. To Erik’s surprise, it was nearing the one year mark since all of this began, when they were finally caught.

It was late June, the summer heat of upstate New York unavoidable as it enveloped all things. The windows of the manor were open, a steady breeze billowing the sheer curtains of Charles’ room. Erik woke slowly, drowsily, blinking against the sunlight streaming in. It was a warm morning that demanded laziness, so Erik yawned, stretched, and curled back around the soft and pliant body tucked beside him.

He tensed.

_Sheisse._

Erik sat up sharply. It was morning. He had slept too long. He hadn’t meant to sleep so long, but he had been so tired. He should have been out of here hours ago. Long, long before sunrise -- like every other morning before. Expanding his powers he could feel the residents of the house moving about, not good. And looking at the alarm clock he could see it was nearing ten o’clock.

This was not good at all.

“Charles,” Erik whispered. He ran his fingers through Charles soft brown hair, brushing it behind his ear. His eyelids fluttered and Erik gave him a light shove to the shoulder, more of a caress than anything. “Charles.”

The younger man groaned and muttered incoherently into his pillow. “What is it, Love?”

“I’m sorry, Charles.”

“Hmm?” He rolled over, frowning up at Erik and blinking against the sun. “What?”

“I have to go, we overslept,” he said.

Charles blink. “Oh, _oh.”_ He sat up, “oh no. What time is it?” he asked.

“Ten,” Erik said, climbing off the bed and dressing quickly.

“How are you going to make it off the grounds?” he asked. He stretched, propping himself against the headboard. He yawned. “You should just stay, Erik.”

“I’ll just go through the window.” He had done it before, it was a quicker route. "No one's ever on this side of the house." It was nothing but trees on this wing of the manor.

“You could still be seen.” Charles sighed, fingers tangling in the bed sheets. Softly, almost a plea, he said, "just stay Erik.”

The sunlight illuminated Charles’ bare chest and Erik had difficulty dragging his eyes away from the man. He was gorgeous and lovely and brilliant, the bruise Erik had sucked into the juncture of his neck on display, and oh god did Erik want to stay. He shook his head. “No I- I can’t Charles.” He hated the way his voice broke. He grabbed his shirt off the foot of the bed. “You _know_ that I can’t. It’s not safe.”

“You’d be perfectly safe here,” Charles said.

“I would be putting you in danger. I would be putting the children in danger! I can’t risk that, and I know that you don’t want that either.”

“Magneto hasn’t been in the public for years,” Charles said. “And I’m not asking Magneto to stay, I’m asking Erik.”

“You’re a sentimental fool, Charles," he said. But there was no heat behind it.

“That’s nothing knew.”

Erik snorted. “No. But you’ll be grateful I left tomorrow.”

“Erik.” He smoothed the sheets out over unfeeling legs. “Fine, fine, just- you’re already here, it’s already daylight, and it’s a Saturday. You may as well shower, take your time.”

Erik swallowed. “This is a bad idea, Charles. I-” he glanced towards the open window. The summer breeze cool against his face despite the heat. He couldn’t stay forever, but he could spend the day, maybe, just in Charles’ bedroom. It was harmless. And there was no point leaving now, was there? It was day, he may as well stay till nightfall, slip out under the cover of night as he had intended last night. Reluctantly, he said, "okay.”

“Yeah?”

Erik nodded and on his was around the bed Charles leant forward for a kiss and Erik complied.

“I’ll go fetch us breakfast,” Charles said when they separated and Erik disappeared into the ensuite.

The shower was nice, warm, it cleared Erik’s mind from the haze of _Charles_  that had enveloped it _._ He was such an idiot, he shouldn’t even be here at all. Once out of the shower he ran a hand across the mirror, clearing away a streak of condensation. His reflection frowned back at him. Dark eyes and lightly graying temples, there was a bit more than he had noticed before. Nearly unrecognisable to even himself. It was strange, the seemingly sudden aging, when Charles still looked like the day they had met. He didn't know what Charles saw in him worth keeping around.

When Charles returned he found Erik lounging on his bed, dressed in his boxers and a stollen t-shirt, riffling through a photo album he’d found in Charles’ closet.

“You went snooping,” Charles accused. He set the plate of breakfast atop the mattress. “Help me up.”

Erik gladly helped Charles onto the bed before taking the photo album back up. “I hadn’t realized you were a photographer, Charles.”

He snorted. “They’re not even good photos, Erik.”

“I disagree.” There were quite a few pictures of him, of Raven (lots and lots of Raven), of Hank. Of Angel and Alex and Sean and Armando. Moira. All of them. A time before it all, back when things were far less complicated.

“Eat your breakfast, Erik.”

He grinned, closed photo album and set it aside. He sat back against the poster at the foot of the bed, happy to watch Charles. It occurred to Erik that he hadn’t spent this much time with Charles in years. Before the school re-opened they had stolen afternoons in motel rooms, cheap dinners in roadside cafe’s where no one was likely to recognize the either of them.

They spent the afternoon in Charles’ room. Erik could hardly believe it. He hadn’t felt so relaxed in ages, possibly never actually. Before it all, he had that rage left in him by Shaw. After, he was a wanted man. He felt he was always on the run. Now... now he wasn't anybody. It was oddly freeing. It was strange feeling so calm, he let his guard down, probably more than he should. It was probably a mistake, he would probably come to regret it. But he allowed himself that much all the same.

Erik lay beside Charles, smiling into the pillow as Charles curled his hand through Erik’s hair. He planted a kiss on Erik’s temple, smiling fondly at the older man. “Get some more sleep, Love,” he said. “You hardly got any last night, you never get enough. I’ll be right here, you’re perfectly safe. I promise.”

Feeling warm and protected, his head resting against Charles’ thigh, Erik drifted.

 

///

 

It was nearing on three in the afternoon, the sun mid-sky and the heat pouring in the room at its strongest, the breeze disturbing the curtains and fluffing Erik’s hair. The warmth mixed with the smooth vocals of Françoise Hardy drifting from the radio across the room were causing Charles to feel drowsy as well, struggling to stay awake. It was a lazy Saturday. There was a light knock on his door and before he could do much, the door opened.

Charles set his book aside, a young dark skinned girl standing plainly in his doorway, her hand hanging from the doorknob. “Professor.”

“Ororo, darling, I thought we had talked about knocking,” he said, smiling at the young girl. He set his book aside.

“I did knock,” she said. “I was making sure you were alive, I haven’t seen you all day. I asked Dr. McCoy and he said you’d been up here all day.”

“Yes well-”

“Who’s that?”

Charles tensed before forcing himself to relax. Ororo had no reason or means to put any name to the sleeping man beside him. No way of perceiving Erik as a threat. So long as he remained calm, so would she. “He’s an old friend. We were talking and he fell asleep.”

Ororo came closer to the bed to better see the other man. “Why’ve I never seen him around before if he’s an old friend?” she asked.

“He’s been away,” Charles said. It wasn’t a lie. Charles often felt as though Erik were far far away, even if he’d only been in Charles bed the night before.

“He looks really tired.”

“He doesn’t sleep much, I’m afraid.”

“Is he like us?” she asked, eyes lighting up at the possibility.

Charles couldn’t fight a smile. “He is. In fact, you know how Dr. McCoy and I call the older student’s the X-Men?”

She nodded, stark white ponytail swaying.

“Erik here was part of the first X-Men. With Dr. McCoy and I.”

She smiled.

Erik stirred in his sleep and Charles moved his hand back to Erik’s hair. Smiling when he huffed and stilled.

Ororo’s dark eyes were locked on Erik. Charles could sense the curiosity burning in her mind.

“It’s very nice out today, why don’t you go find Jean and Scott. See if they’d like to play out on the lawn. The pool man has gone, you could go swimming,” he said.

Ororo smiled. “Okay!” Before leaving, she asked, “do you need anything?”

“No, thank you. I have everything I need,” he said, eyes straying to Erik sleeping soundly beside him. “Go have fun.”

Her head cocked in curiosity, but she smiled all the same as she shut the door behind her.

“Everything that I could possibly need,” Charles spoke to a quiet room. Fingers dancing through Erik’s hair as he slept. He felt, suddenly, immeasurably content. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be sad, but I got sick of all the sad, so I made it cute instead. I might make more, idk. Let me know maybe.


End file.
